To me this was no big surprise but Access Hollywood made it official today announcing that Scarlett Johansson has the best celebrity breasts. This leads me to wonder if there is someone out there with better boobs who isn't a celebrity? Hmm. You know I just don't think there is but I will do my best to find out.

If my wife says it's ok.

Oh and by the way here is the top five on the beautiful, bodacious, bouncing boobie list.

1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Salma Hayek
3. Halle Berry
4. Jessica Simpson
5. Jennifer Love Hewitt

Ok ok. Quick question why is Salma Hayek number 2? Better yet why is she even on the list? Isn't she like 60 now or something? Plus it's hard for me to even notice her boobs since she has a mustache for eyebrows.

Hey did you hear about the Johan Hex movie? It's based off of comic book from DC comics about a... Ok fine it stars Megan Fox as a prostitute in a corset. Now can I continue telling you what the story is about? No? What do you mean no? It has Megan Fox in a corset so you don't need to know anything else? Fine. Whatever but if you want to read more later (I'm guessing after a 5 minute trip to the bathroom) you can read more here. Oh and there are more pics of her in a corset after the jump.

Remember just yesterday I was ranting about how Hollywood has no new ideas and keeps resorting to raping the ideas of the past in order to make a quick buck off of new short attention span generation of idiots? Yeah well just imagine how this news from Variety made me feel.

Universal Pictures will remake the 1983 David Cronenberg-directed thriller "Videodrome," with Ehren Kruger set to write the script and produce with partner Daniel Bobker.

To quote Paul Giamatti from Shoot 'em Up "Fuck me sideways"

It looks like Predator is being redone, revamped, reimagined, remade, rebooted or whatever the hell they call it. I call ridiculous. Apparently Robert Rodriguez is the mad man behind the remake and I like Rodriguez but this is Predator dammit!

[FANBOY_RANT]Predator had the usual cheeseball Arnie lines ("Stick around") but was just serious enough not to be campy. And yes I do think that a muscle bound team of covert operatives for hire trekking through a South American jungle with a hot Latino girl in tow while being tracked by a alien hunter wearing a wristband which enables the alien to become invisibile, plus has an atomic bomb built into it to be very serious and not campy at all.[/FANBOY_RANT]

Anyway this is what Rodriguez had to say.

Director Robert Rodriguez has taken on the 20th Century Fox PREDATOR franchise and creating a newly rebooted "PREDATORS."

We've heard the rumblings that this was coming via B-D, but now it's been confirmed. IESB has also confirmed it will be Rodriguez' own take on the original concept and he is in fact not only producing the reboot, he's also directing it.

Rodriguez talked to the audience of press members and revealed his upcoming film slate.

"I'm going to be able to shoot my upcoming Machete here, a sci-fi action film called Nervewrackers, a re-boot of the Predator series called Predators, and a couple of smaller movies called Sin City 2 and The Jetsons.

The Jetsons? Seriously did he just say "The Jetsons?" Not that I give a fuck about The Jetsons being ruined but I don't think any cares about The Jetsons anyway. Eh whatever, I'm too pissed about Predator, or should I say Predators? Doesn't anyone have any new ideas? Please stop 'going back' an remaking movies that are perfect. Please.

So below is the latest and last Wolverine trailer that will hit the internet. Just scroll below and you will find the last official trailer; bone claws and all.

This trailer leaves me asking just one question. Does Wolverine use hairspray or mouse? I know he blow dries. I betcha he usually mouse. You know to "save the planet". Damn hippie.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are set to return to the big screen in a live action movie slated for 2011. Variety:

The Mirage Group, which owns the property, is moving forward with a live-action film focusing on the origins of the iconic crime fighters. Project, targeted for release in 2011, would mark the fifth bigscreen outing for the sewer-dwelling heroes Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael as well as their master Splinter.

If you like me when you read "live action" you probably thought "great they are going to ass rape TMNT". But it may not be all that bad.

Legendary Pictures former chief marketing officer Scott Mednick is producing the new pic alongside Galen Walker, who produced the 2007 computer-animated "TMNT" pic, the most recent installment in the franchise. Peter Laird, Gary Richardson, Frederick Fierst, Eric Crown and Napoleon Smith III are exec producing the film, which is based on the characters created by Laird and Kevin Eastman.

News coincides with the Turtles' 25th anniversary celebration, which kicks off Thursday in New York as the first "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" film unspools at the Tribeca Film Festival.

Since the producer of the 2007 computer animated movie is involved I will reserve further judgement. I thought the 2007 movie captured the characters perfectly and just rocked plain and simple. So let's just hope a live action verison is in the same vain.

In a related story Ray Park is trying to make a turle costume during lunch hour.

Welcome to HollywoodJerk.com. In retrospect, I'm not crazy about the name but I also don't really care that much; so you can see my quandary. But would it really be a quandary considering I don't care? Or is it? Hmmm. Maybe I have a conundrum on my hands. Oh God! I hope it's not a conundrum! Problems I can deal with, quandaries I can manage, but a conundrum? Fuck me!

Ok, I'm just not going to think about now, because I have to finish this introduction post.

Ok. Deep Breaths. Whew!

Ok, so basically I will be focusing on movie news, trailers and reviews primarily about cool movies. No frikkin' crap with actors curling up their hands acting like they are retards, or the story of a lonely old women thinking about the past. Fuck that shit. This is about slasher films, comic book movies and just badass movies in general. You know stuff for a mature, sophisticated audience.

Hey you clicked the contact link so you must be looking for contact information and you wish is my command. Just as long as your wishes don't involve rope, crisco, carpet burn or Ben Affleck.


Jason McLellan's Contact information

http://www.headstatic.com/

info@headstatic.com

Bryan Fowler's Contact Information

http://www.bfowler.com/

bryanfolerart@yahoo.com

Hello all. I guess this is where I revel all my innermost thoughts and secret art techniques. Now, if only I had any interesting secrets or art techniques that make drawing and painting as easy as using an easy bake oven, which, come to think of it, isn't that easy. That damn bulb never got close to anything resembling heat.

To find out more about myself I visiting my website, www.bfowler.com. On my "about Bryan Fowler" page it basically says I went to school, live in a house, and love to draw and paint pictures of monsters, goblins, the human figure, and super heroes.

I love oil paint and like working digitally. Here are a few samples.

Greetings all. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am currently taking early commision requests for the 2009 Heroes Comic book Convention. I have already had a couple requests and I will have those pieces ready very soon. Requesting a commission now is a great way to make sure you receive a sketch from me at this year's con.

I am really looking forward to the con this year because it's shaping up to be a great one. But on the off chance the con sucks this year, I will do something to make it memorable. Like I may punch a 5 year old dressed as Superman. Just a thought.

I'm going to level with you guys and gals. I suck at writing bios/who I am/this is me kind of bullshit. So my artist profile page may not be all that informative.

However I can say that I'm a freelance artist, character designer and the smartest, most handsome son of a bitch ever. 

According to my mom. 

Well except for the son of a bitch part.

Anyway just check out my art and posts here and on my personal site www.headstatic.com and after a while you will start to realize my mom is right.

Oh yeah below are some samples of my work.