Paramount just released two more spots for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, coming to theaters on August 7. The film will focus on...what the hell? Who am I kidding? No cares about this movie! Well yeah I suppose there are a few people (maybe 7) that do care but those people don't care about a plot. Plots are so distracting with all the talking and stuff. Let's just watch stuff blow up.

Morons.

But hey if you still want to see the two new spots check them out here and here.

moron

By the way I was going to just embed the vids but apparently they don't want the trailers to "get out" because let's face it, the more people that see the trailers the less people that will show up to see it.

Variety reported that Harry Potter The Half-Blood Prince had a big midnight opening. So big in fact that it done broke record. Welllll doggie.

In a massive start, Warner Bros.’ “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” easily scored the biggest midnight gross of all-time in earning $22.2 million as it unspooled in 3,003 runs at 12:01 a.m. Wednesday.

That figure beats the $18 million earned in midnight runs by Warners’ very own “The Dark Knight” and the $17 million earned by 20th Century Fox’s “Star Wars: Episode III —Revenge of the Sith.”

“Half-Blood Prince” opens in the same Wednesday slot that “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” did in 2007. “Order of the Phoenix” grossed $12 million in midnight runs on its way to a $139.7 million five-day debut.

I have no idea why I was just talking like Jed Clampett.

Moron Michael Bay's Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen (oooo scary) broke 700 million this week according to comingsoon.net.

Dropping two spots to third, Michael Bay's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen earned another $24.2 million in its third weekend for a domestic total of $339.2 million. The sequel has passed the $319 million total of 2007's Transformers and is easily the No. 1 movie of the year domestically so far. Internationally, the Paramount/DreamWorks release has reached $364.5 million, just $24.5 million shy of the original's entire overseas gross. "Revenge of the Fallen" surpassed the $700 million mark and now stands at $703.7 million. The first Transformers earned $708.3 million worldwide.

You know what really sucks? Five dollars of that is mine. I ended up going to see it with a friend. I equate it to watching open heart surgery on the Discovery channel. You don't want to see it. You know you won't like it. But you still watch it so you can tell everyone how bad it was. That's how I would describe Transformers 2, which just broke 700 million. 700 million! Frikkin' moron Michael Bay! WTF!

In a related story I'm going to splurge today and eat at Chick-Fli-A. Ha! Who's the moron now!

I will be the first to admit I keep having high hopes for Inglorious Basterds. Don't ask me why (because I don't know) but I think this could be a really fun movie. Fun as in the senseless violence kind of fun. You know sorta like when you are really kicking as at Halo?

Anyway as I was saying I hope the movie doesn't suck and this French version of the trailer gives a little validity to my blind hope.

**Spoiler** This trailer actually focuses on the plot instead of Brad Pitt. Go figure right?

Hey guess what? ....Yeah funny you know I can't help that. Smartass.

But seriously guess what? There is a Sherlock Holmes trailer out now. Guess what else? You can watch it below. Tried me of saying guess what now? You say you're going to punch me the face if I say it again? Ok then I'll shaddaup.

Holy shit here are 3 clips from Quentin Taratino's new movie Inglorious Basterds, which features Brad Pitt, Nazis and a misspelling of the word "bastards". I am still staying optimistic about this movie even though it received luke-warm reviews at Cannes and Pitt's accent is borderline ridiculous. I mean afterall it couldn't be worse than Kill Bill. Could it?

Movie news has been pretty slow the last couple days but there is good news on the horizon. Blood: The Last Vampire anime has been made into a live action movie and a trailer is below!

You know I caught the anime...sorry manga, a couple years back on a Saturday night, at like 3 in the morning on STARZ or some shit like that. I thought it was really good. It was about a school girl who hunts vampires and demons, oh and (ready for the twist?) she's half vampire! Did I mention it was 3 in the morning when I was watching it? Yeah so in hind-sight maybe it's not that great, but then again I'm also a sucker for hot sword-carrying japanese school girls hacking up demons.

Call me old-fashioned.

THANK YOU HOLLYWOOD! It has been announced that Keanu Reeves will be starring in a film adaptation of "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." Godammit! Why do they keep casting "Mr. Whoa" in movies that I wanna see? He fucked up most of the Matrix for me (Ergo the architect scene), ruined Constantine completely (Why didn't they cast Kiefer Sutherland?), and don't even get me started on The Devil's Advocate and The Day the Earth Stood Still.

But now I find out he is going to star in one my all-time favorite stories? Fuck me. Really think about it. Keanu Reeves will be playing an eccentric scientific genius who creates a potion using various form of arcane alchemy that transforms him into a violent, uninhibited brute with near super human abilities whenever he drinks it. Dr. Jekyll is only able to remember bits and pieces of the horrors and debaucheries he had committed in the form of the villainous brute that is later named Mr. Hyde. The good doctor finds himself fearing what he has become yet is drawn to the darkness of his evil alter ego. This story could arguably be the basis and inspiration of other great stories ranging from Werewolves to Fight Club.

Good thing they got a talented actor to deal with such a dramatic and complex role huh?

Terminator Salvation opens in two weeks. If you are still unsure if you want to see it then I suggest you watch the 4 minute clip below and let me know what you think. I have even put together a list of responses for your convenience below.

1. Holy shit! Hooooollly shit!
2. Did you see that shit? Oh my God!
3. .......damn.......
4. Dude....DUUUUDDDE
5. I didn 't like it...and I'm also an idiot queer

USA Today has an article and pictures of the upcoming Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law and Rachel McAdams. I gotta say I don't really have anything smartass to say about the cast. I have always like Robert Downey Jr because he rocks, Jude Law is just badass in everything he does and Rachel McAdams can act her ass off.

In other news I'm kinda boring. *sigh*

I don't even know where to begin on this one. Apparently Will Smth is teaming up with the Chinese (those damn Commies) to do a remake starring his son, Jaden Smith and Jackie "I'm a whore" Chan. Here is quick run down of how the rape will go down.

• Daniel-San is now called Dre
• Mr Myiagi is now called Mr Ha
• Danie...I mean Dre is a skateboarding video game buff
• Chinese bullies at his school apparently hate skate boards and video games

So basically they are taking the premise and updating it an upbeat funky vibe that is sure to appeal to audiences everywhere. Or as I like to say brutally ass-raping it with no lube.

Below is a picture of Jaden and his bitches.

It looks like Predator is being redone, revamped, reimagined, remade, rebooted or whatever the hell they call it. I call ridiculous. Apparently Robert Rodriguez is the mad man behind the remake and I like Rodriguez but this is Predator dammit!

[FANBOY_RANT]Predator had the usual cheeseball Arnie lines ("Stick around") but was just serious enough not to be campy. And yes I do think that a muscle bound team of covert operatives for hire trekking through a South American jungle with a hot Latino girl in tow while being tracked by a alien hunter wearing a wristband which enables the alien to become invisibile, plus has an atomic bomb built into it to be very serious and not campy at all.[/FANBOY_RANT]

Anyway this is what Rodriguez had to say.

Director Robert Rodriguez has taken on the 20th Century Fox PREDATOR franchise and creating a newly rebooted "PREDATORS."

We've heard the rumblings that this was coming via B-D, but now it's been confirmed. IESB has also confirmed it will be Rodriguez' own take on the original concept and he is in fact not only producing the reboot, he's also directing it.

Rodriguez talked to the audience of press members and revealed his upcoming film slate.

"I'm going to be able to shoot my upcoming Machete here, a sci-fi action film called Nervewrackers, a re-boot of the Predator series called Predators, and a couple of smaller movies called Sin City 2 and The Jetsons.

The Jetsons? Seriously did he just say "The Jetsons?" Not that I give a fuck about The Jetsons being ruined but I don't think any cares about The Jetsons anyway. Eh whatever, I'm too pissed about Predator, or should I say Predators? Doesn't anyone have any new ideas? Please stop 'going back' an remaking movies that are perfect. Please.