Hey guess what? ....Yeah funny you know I can't help that. Smartass.

But seriously guess what? There is a Sherlock Holmes trailer out now. Guess what else? You can watch it below. Tried me of saying guess what now? You say you're going to punch me the face if I say it again? Ok then I'll shaddaup.

Holy shit here are 3 clips from Quentin Taratino's new movie Inglorious Basterds, which features Brad Pitt, Nazis and a misspelling of the word "bastards". I am still staying optimistic about this movie even though it received luke-warm reviews at Cannes and Pitt's accent is borderline ridiculous. I mean afterall it couldn't be worse than Kill Bill. Could it?

Does Marvel own Australia or something? It seems like everyone they cast for lead roles in their movies are Austalian.

I mean we have Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, Eric Bana was the Hulk, but that was recast with American Ed Norton. But hey Robert Downey Jr is...American. So is Tobey Mcguire and Wesley Snipes. Ben Affleck isn't even human, I think he's just a boring android. Damn come to think of it hardly anyone has been Australian.

Did I have a point?

Oh yeah! Thor has been cast.

Marvel Studios' Kevin Feige and director Kenneth Branagh have chosen their THOR -- and it's Chris Hemsworth, who can currently be seen as "George Kirk" in J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot and also just snagged the lead in Red Dawn for United Artists on Thursday.

Read the entire story

So there is a new movie coming out called "Hisss". Hahaha, there is an extra "S" in hiss, that must mean it's extra creepy. Anyway this ridiculous looking film was directed by Jennifer Lynch (daughter of David Lynch) and is about a snake goddess that can take human form. Some Bollywood chick is the star, which is fine by me because most Bollywood chicks are hot. Read more at rope of silicon

What can I say? I have standards dammit.

View the trailer below

Movie news has been pretty slow the last couple days but there is good news on the horizon. Blood: The Last Vampire anime has been made into a live action movie and a trailer is below!

You know I caught the anime...sorry manga, a couple years back on a Saturday night, at like 3 in the morning on STARZ or some shit like that. I thought it was really good. It was about a school girl who hunts vampires and demons, oh and (ready for the twist?) she's half vampire! Did I mention it was 3 in the morning when I was watching it? Yeah so in hind-sight maybe it's not that great, but then again I'm also a sucker for hot sword-carrying japanese school girls hacking up demons.

Call me old-fashioned.

The Expendables is going to rock. I don't care what anyone says. It's going to rock. If this picture from AICN doesn't prove it I don't know what will. You commie.

THANK YOU HOLLYWOOD! It has been announced that Keanu Reeves will be starring in a film adaptation of "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." Godammit! Why do they keep casting "Mr. Whoa" in movies that I wanna see? He fucked up most of the Matrix for me (Ergo the architect scene), ruined Constantine completely (Why didn't they cast Kiefer Sutherland?), and don't even get me started on The Devil's Advocate and The Day the Earth Stood Still.

But now I find out he is going to star in one my all-time favorite stories? Fuck me. Really think about it. Keanu Reeves will be playing an eccentric scientific genius who creates a potion using various form of arcane alchemy that transforms him into a violent, uninhibited brute with near super human abilities whenever he drinks it. Dr. Jekyll is only able to remember bits and pieces of the horrors and debaucheries he had committed in the form of the villainous brute that is later named Mr. Hyde. The good doctor finds himself fearing what he has become yet is drawn to the darkness of his evil alter ego. This story could arguably be the basis and inspiration of other great stories ranging from Werewolves to Fight Club.

Good thing they got a talented actor to deal with such a dramatic and complex role huh?

Terminator Salvation opens in two weeks. If you are still unsure if you want to see it then I suggest you watch the 4 minute clip below and let me know what you think. I have even put together a list of responses for your convenience below.

1. Holy shit! Hooooollly shit!
2. Did you see that shit? Oh my God!
3. .......damn.......
4. Dude....DUUUUDDDE
5. I didn 't like it...and I'm also an idiot queer

"Grrrr...Whadda ya think of my guns? Not those guns...THESE GUNS!...ARGGGHHHH"

See more flexing robots at Yahoo.

Thanks again Michael Bay. Thanks again.

USA Today has an article and pictures of the upcoming Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law and Rachel McAdams. I gotta say I don't really have anything smartass to say about the cast. I have always like Robert Downey Jr because he rocks, Jude Law is just badass in everything he does and Rachel McAdams can act her ass off.

In other news I'm kinda boring. *sigh*

Hitfix posted a story about some dude named Bradley Cooper (pictured above) playing Green Lantern, ironically in the Green Lantern movie. The article start off by asking the question "Who the hell is Bradley Cooper?", which I'm sure thrilled Bradley because he was mentioned by name.

***Pointless story begin***
I actually do recognize this dude from the Wedding Crashers (he played the douche bag boyfriend of Rachel McAdams). Plus I just saw Yes Man over the weekend (I was captured by terrorists and subjected to torture part of which was watching :Yes Man) and he was in that also. Yep he sure was.
***Pointless story end***

In case you couldn't figure it out from the title of this post, Fox is gearing up for a Deadpool movie starring Ryan Reynolds. Variety

Twentieth Century Fox has begun development on "Deadpool," an "X-Men" spinoff that will be crafted as a star vehicle for Ryan Reynolds, who played the character in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine."

Wow. Didn't see that one coming did you? I thought for sure they would give a deal to Will I Am before doing something like this? Wow totally outta left field. I have to say though, I can't really say anything negative about Reynolds** because he does play a great smart ass, not as good as Jason Lee but still good, and he was the only way I made it through Blade Trinity.

**It should be noted he did steal Scarlett Johansson from me. I know my fan mail was working it's magic before he stepped in and foiled my plans. I'll get you for that Reynolds. You just wait.

I don't even know where to begin on this one. Apparently Will Smth is teaming up with the Chinese (those damn Commies) to do a remake starring his son, Jaden Smith and Jackie "I'm a whore" Chan. Here is quick run down of how the rape will go down.

• Daniel-San is now called Dre
• Mr Myiagi is now called Mr Ha
• Danie...I mean Dre is a skateboarding video game buff
• Chinese bullies at his school apparently hate skate boards and video games

So basically they are taking the premise and updating it an upbeat funky vibe that is sure to appeal to audiences everywhere. Or as I like to say brutally ass-raping it with no lube.

Below is a picture of Jaden and his bitches.

It looks like Fox is already planning a sequel for Wolverine, which will focus on his samurai training. Yes you read that correctly. Variety

The Seed partners have begun planning the sequel, which they are squarely focusing on the samurai storyline originated in the comic series, and whose Japanese locale was teased after the film's final credits. A writer has yet to be hired. Seed will produce.

For those of you who don't know, in the comics Wolverine traveled to Japan and received Samurai training all while wearing an eye patch. You know because when you are an amnesic mutant Canadian super soldier, with adamantium claws you need to wear a disguise while training to be a samurai and what better disguise is there than an eye patch? It should also be noted that while in disguise he cleverly called himself Patch and also worked as a Private Investigator. Anyone else want to ask me why I don't like this character?

Hahaha don't get too excited this is just a fan film but it still beats a Uwe Boll movie right? Read the full story on this 40 minute fan film here.

You nerd.

A new poster for Inglorious Basterds is out and makes a claim that I have been saying ever since Pitt knocked up Angelina Jolie, that claim of course being he's a bastard. Angelina was mine dammit. Mine I tell you. Oh well at least I still have Scarlett Johansson.

According to Variety there is a live action verison of the popular Death Note being put into production. I really don't get this series. A friend of mine raved about this series and forced me to watch it. But he started me in the middle of the story and while I was trying to watch that he was explaining what had happened already, as well as what was happening and what would happen. Oddly I didn't understand a damn thing so I gave up on it.

Congratulations on making it through my stupid story. Stay tuned because next time I will tell you about this one time when I was really hungry. True story.

No thanks to me Wolverine Origins opened at 87 million, proving you don't really need a plot, character developement, continuity, or a story that even remotely remains true to the source material to be a success. If anything it may help. Don't believe me? Just ask Zack Snyder, the director of Watchmen.

USA today finally posted some news that I care about today by releasing the first picture from Iron Man 2. Sadly it's Scarlett Johansson free (she is playing the Black Widow you know) but still it's a look at the new movie. Pretty basic shot...yup. Suits are in the background. That's pretty cool right? Yeah...


Who wants a sandwich?

I know this isn't really movie news but I just had to mention it. This June the Sears Tower will feature a new attraction called "the ledge". Suntimes

…these new glass enclosures that extend 4.3 feet beyond the side of the building. Beneath peoples’ feet lies the sprawling Illinois city - 103 storeys, or 1,353 feet, below. Just an inch-and-a-half of glass separates the visitor from the street underneath. The attraction is due to open in June.

I don't even know what to say. I know that isn't really the be angle to take when trying to be a smartass blogger but damn...I mean dayum! Look at that shit! Is you crazy?

Yahoo has the new and possible final trailer for the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I have to say wow it looks great and the plot is air tight. My hat is off to you Mr. Bay.

From what I could gather an 18 year old dufus wants to leave Megan Fox and his personal Transformer, which transforms into a bright yellow sports car mind you, so he can live with another man and attend school. But then a piece of Transformer rock that dufus was carrying drops to the floor which leads him to see the world in some sort of fucked up Matrix kind of way, and while that is happening meteors start raining down to Earth hitting an aircraft carrier. This really pisses Optimus Prime off so he meets up with dufus at his school…

I wish I was making this up. Just watch it if you don’t believe me.