Come on! How can you not love this cheese?

Source: IGN

Official site of Zombieland here

Ok I’m trying my best to stay calm. 10, 9, 8, ….ok. Ok the first pictures of my precious Scarlett Johansson as the Black Widow (one of my favorite Marvel Femme Fatales) were released today.

Uh….I think “OH MY DEAR LORD! About covers it. I mean really this is just….wow.

It also turns out that Mickey Rouke has been given a lot of free reign with his character and Robert Downey Jr said….

OH MY DEAR LORD! Look at her! Ok sorry everyone just read the story here and let me know what you think about it. I need to go take a shower. Not to cool down mind you but to clean up.

TMI?

Paramount just released two more spots for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, coming to theaters on August 7. The film will focus on...what the hell? Who am I kidding? No cares about this movie! Well yeah I suppose there are a few people (maybe 7) that do care but those people don't care about a plot. Plots are so distracting with all the talking and stuff. Let's just watch stuff blow up.

Morons.

But hey if you still want to see the two new spots check them out here and here.

moron

By the way I was going to just embed the vids but apparently they don't want the trailers to "get out" because let's face it, the more people that see the trailers the less people that will show up to see it.

Variety reported that Harry Potter The Half-Blood Prince had a big midnight opening. So big in fact that it done broke record. Welllll doggie.

In a massive start, Warner Bros.’ “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” easily scored the biggest midnight gross of all-time in earning $22.2 million as it unspooled in 3,003 runs at 12:01 a.m. Wednesday.

That figure beats the $18 million earned in midnight runs by Warners’ very own “The Dark Knight” and the $17 million earned by 20th Century Fox’s “Star Wars: Episode III —Revenge of the Sith.”

“Half-Blood Prince” opens in the same Wednesday slot that “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” did in 2007. “Order of the Phoenix” grossed $12 million in midnight runs on its way to a $139.7 million five-day debut.

I have no idea why I was just talking like Jed Clampett.

The good folks at Empire posted production stills of the upcoming Alice in Wonderland directed by Tim Burton. The pics don't look half bad but I'm more excited about Burton's upcoming animated flick 9 than I am this. Of course that maybe due to the fact that if I see Johnny Depp star in another Burton film there is a very good chance I will cry. Like a baby. For at least 8 minutes.

Oh yeah click here to see all the pics over at Empire.

Moron Michael Bay's Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen (oooo scary) broke 700 million this week according to comingsoon.net.

Dropping two spots to third, Michael Bay's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen earned another $24.2 million in its third weekend for a domestic total of $339.2 million. The sequel has passed the $319 million total of 2007's Transformers and is easily the No. 1 movie of the year domestically so far. Internationally, the Paramount/DreamWorks release has reached $364.5 million, just $24.5 million shy of the original's entire overseas gross. "Revenge of the Fallen" surpassed the $700 million mark and now stands at $703.7 million. The first Transformers earned $708.3 million worldwide.

You know what really sucks? Five dollars of that is mine. I ended up going to see it with a friend. I equate it to watching open heart surgery on the Discovery channel. You don't want to see it. You know you won't like it. But you still watch it so you can tell everyone how bad it was. That's how I would describe Transformers 2, which just broke 700 million. 700 million! Frikkin' moron Michael Bay! WTF!

In a related story I'm going to splurge today and eat at Chick-Fli-A. Ha! Who's the moron now!

According to Variety Jodie Foster will be directing Mel Gibson in a movie called The Beaver.

Mel Gibson will star in "The Beaver" for director Jodie Foster.

The script, written by Kyle Killen, topped the Blacklist in December.

Gibson will play a depressed man who finds solace in wearing a beaver hand-puppet. On top of helming, Foster will play the role of the man’s wife.

If only I had a nickel for everytime I pretended my had was a beaver when I was feeling down.

Uh...wait. I mean...no that's what I meant actually.

I had heard a few months back that Natalie Portman would be in the new Thor movie. Well guess what? Now it's official!

Natalie Portman is starring as Jane Foster, the Thunder God’s love interest. In the original comics the character was a nurse who worked for Dr. Donald Blake, a regular old cripple who sometimes turned into Thor. - CHUD

[From Marvel’s press release] Marvel Studios expands its film universe with a new type of superhero: THOR. This epic adventure spans the Marvel Universe; from present day Earth to the realm of Asgard. At the center of the story is The Mighty Thor, a powerful but arrogant warrior whose reckless actions reignite an ancient war. Thor is cast down to Earth and forced to live among humans as punishment. Once here, Thor learns what it takes to be a true hero when the most dangerous villain of his world sends the darkest forces of Asgard to invade Earth.

I gotta say, this Thor movie is really starting to piss me off. I don’t give a rat’s ass about Thor. If you came up to me asking for the ass of a rat I would say sure. But if you told me that the rat’s ass was for Thor I would say no way. That’s how I feel about Thor.

Yet this movie has Kenneth Branagh as the director. I love Kenneth Branagh. I would give him a rat’s ass in a second.

Now I hear Natalie Portman has been cast! My sweet Natalie. So pretty.

But this still doesn’t mean this movie won’t suck. Even though Kenneth Branagh rocks and Portman is beautiful and talented this is Thor we’re talking about. Plus Kenneth Branagh and Portman don’t have the best of track records. Let’s not forget about Branagh’s Frankenstein and the last Star Wars movies.

Variety has reported that Ryan Reynolds will play the Green Lantern.

Warner Bros. Pictures has hired X-Men Origins: Wolverine and The Proposal star
Ryan Reynolds to play the title role in the anticipated Green Lantern, scheduled
for a June 17, 2011 release.

Based on the DC Comics hero, the
action-adventure will be directed by Martin Campbell (Casino Royale, GoldenEye)
and produced by Donald De Line and Greg Berlanti. Berlanti wrote the script with
Marc Guggenheim and Michael Green.

The Hollywood trades say that
Reynolds and his camp entered negotiations for the part Friday, after the studio
held two rounds of screen tests, along with actors Bradley Cooper and Jared
Leto. Justin Timberlake also did a screen test. The studio had holding options
on the actors, but, except for Reynolds, those expired Monday. Reynolds' option
would have expired end of day Friday.

Production is expected to begin in
January.

The "Green Lantern" was created in 1940 by writer Bill Finger
and artist Martin Nodell. Introduced in 1959, Hal Jordan is a second-generation
test pilot, an ordinary man who was given the power ring and battery (lantern)
by a dying alien named Abin Sur. When Abin Sur's spaceship crashed on Earth, the
alien used his ring to seek out an individual to take his place as Green
Lantern: someone who was "utterly honest and born without fear."

Reynolds will be the only actor to have played heroes for both Marvel
and DC. He recently starred in Fox's "Wolverine," in which he played Wade
Wilson/Deadpool. The character is now being developed for a spin-off to which
Reynolds is attached. He also played Hannibal King in Blade: Trinity.

Wow first I thought they were going to cast Bradley Cooper, then I heard that they may ass rape Green Lantern by casting Justin Timberlake but this is actually pretty good news for the movie. I really like Ryan Reynolds. Even though he did marry Scarlett Johansson...yeah...he...married...her.

Nevermind what I just said. I hate Ryan Reynolds. Hate him I say. Besides the Green Lantern is lame anyway. I mean his weakness is the color yellow for crying out loud! YELLOW!

I almost posted this under the title Megan Fox is school girl but even I'm not that much of a whore. Am I?

Anyway above is the poster for the upcoming Megan Fox movie Jennifer’s Body. Meh. I appreciate the effort they are putting into to this, and by effort I mean they are selling the movie based on the hotness of Megan Fox. Plus I am really digging the 80’s vibe of the poster and the movie itself.

Ah, the 80’s were such a decadent and lavish time for horror movies. Every movie had boobs, blood, and bad jokes. *sniff* they just don’t make ‘em like that anymore.

But back to my point this movie looks like it’s giving a wink and nod to cheese fest of the 80’s and that is scores cool points with me. I can’t wait to see it...6 months from now…on Showtime at 1 in the morning.

Thanks to bloodydisgusting

Although it is still in the rumor phase I still thought it was important to mention that Ain't it Cool News is reporting that Justin Timberlake is being considered for director Martin Campbell's Green Lantern movie.

Got an unconfirmed rumor that at Leavesden Studios - there's been some Warner Bros. screen testing on GREEN LANTERN and that Justin Timberlake was suiting up for the test. That does not mean that JT is going to be Hal Jordan, but just that he's one of the guys that they've been seriously considering for the role of our Emerald Knight.

I fully admit I'm not the Green Lantern's biggest fan and by "biggest fan" I mean I really don't like the character. But come on! He doesn't deserve this shit! Justin Timberlake. Justing frikkin' Timberlake? Rumor or not that is just wrong.

Question: What does this post have to do with movies?
Answer: Nothing
Question: Will this post make you happier than sliding down a rainbow?
Answer: Hell yeah

For those of you who don't know Olivia Munn (the hot chick in the video below) was my geek crush of 2008 and is rapidly climbing my list of people to do. Not only is she hot but she's also pretty darn funny. I mean come on how many chicks dress up as Link, read Y the last man and appreciate the word c-nt?

But aside from "the Munn factor", I also a fan of the Attack of the Show (AOTS) and posting this video is just my little way of honoring their 1000th episode, which was celebrated yesterday. So in honor of AOTS and "the Munn" I give you "video game girl", which was written by Parry Gripp of Nerd Herder fame.

Video Game - E3 2009 - Attack of the Show

Hey Michael Moore has a new documentry coming out. I didn't mention it before because it didn't have a name. But guess what now it does so I can formally introduce you two.

Sexy Hollywoodjerk reader meet Michael Moore's new documentry, Capitalism: A Love Story

Now I'll let Mikey Moore tell you why he chose the title in his own words.

"It will be the perfect date movie," said Moore. "It's got it all -- lust, passion, romance, and 14,000 jobs being eliminated every day. It's a forbidden love, one that dare not speak its name. Heck, let's just say it: It's Capitalism."

He is being sarcastic...right?

Oh wait. Yep he is. Glad I cleared that one up. .

Oh yeah so much for not talking about a documentry being named huh?

There isn't that much of a difference between this trailer and the red band trailer I posted a couple days ago. So why am I posting it you ask? Simple because I love you guys and I know you love Megan Fox.

Not buying that huh?

Ok fine it's a slow day and it was either this or I talk about documentry getting a title.

Yahoo! has a trailer up for the upcoming sci-fi District 9 and I have to admit it looks pretty nifty. Peter Jackson has stamped his name on it although I'm not really sure what he's doing for the film because Neill Blomkamp (who?) is directing it.



The premise is that aliens, the outerspace kind, have all converged to South Africa as refugees. It's pretty obvious they are playing on the premise that people shun whoever (or whatever) is different from their own and that we should try and understand one another blah blah blah.



Whatever dude tell that to Scarlett Johansson. Three years 4598 letters and 8923 emails and not one single response. HA! Are we so different Scarlett? Why don't you try to learn a lesson from District 9 and simply reach out. Instead of being such a stuck up snob.



Wait.



Oh God I'm sorry I didn't mean it. I've been under a ..... awww damn you Peter Jackson!

Big Fan has been creating a buzz and it's easy to see why. It stars Patton Oswald (the guy from Comedy Central and King of Queens) and is directed by Rob Siegel (the guy who wrote The Wrestler). Besides this being a kick ass movie I also felt obligated to post this to counteract The Collector trailer.

Anyway it's the story of a die-hard, live with his mom New York Giants fan who has his ass beat by the player he loves. I know it may sound like a comedy at first but trust me it's not. It looks really damn good and I have the movie geek boner to prove it.

Trailer below

Marcus Dunstan wrote Saw IV, V, and VI, which didn't just kill the series but pissed all over the grave. All joking aside I didn't even know that a Saw VI existed until about 3 months ago when I happened to catch it on Showtime or something.

Anyway the point being the movies sucked and I dare anyone to tell me what happened in what movie because like an actual trainwreck these sequels all run together and cause a gruesome experience for whoever looks at it.

So with that being said, Marcus Dunstan is now making his directorial debut. Oh and guees what? Yep that's right it's about a serial killer that blah blah blah elaborate blah blah and blah.

To me buying a ticket and watching this movie would be like choosing between being ass-raped by a midget or losing an arm. Either way I would be scarred for life.

Watch the lame ass trailer below if you hate yourself.

In the upcoming film Brothers Tobey Maguire is a soldier who goes off to war and is thought to be killed in action. So his brother played by Jake Gyllenhaal comforts his wife played by Natalie Portman who is currently #6 on my people to do list.

Anyway so while Jake is comforting his brother's wife he also decides to nail her. Hey you gotta give the guy credit. If my brother's wife looked like Natalie Portman I don't think I would wait until he was dead. In fact I would probably do her on the table at Thanksgiving while giving a thumbs up. But I digress.

Anyway everything is going A-OK until it is discovered that soilder boy is not dead. In fact his little bug eyed ass is on his way back home. Needless to say he now known as Captain Cockblock and decides to put a turd in everyone's punch bowl.

Overall the movie really doesn't look that bad. I mean besides the "Portman factor" it also has Gyllenhaal who I have always liked. Face it the dude has a great look, charisma and can frikkin' act.

In a related story his sister blows.

Jennifer's Body stars Megan Fox.

Do I really have to continue? Ok ok fine. The movie is about a hot chick that is actually a demon. Wow what a far fetched and imaginative idea, hot chicks are actually demons. What will they think up next? Maybe a story about race cars being fast? VVROOM!

Ladies and gentleman this is not just a random post. Oh no. This is a collection of Nicolas Cage's finest (and I mean finest) moments from the horror classic the Wickerman.

The Academy should have created a super sized Oscar with giant balls encrusted in diamonds and gave it to him for this performance. Whether he's punching women or dressing in a bear suit this performance will never be topped. Never.

I will be the first to admit I keep having high hopes for Inglorious Basterds. Don't ask me why (because I don't know) but I think this could be a really fun movie. Fun as in the senseless violence kind of fun. You know sorta like when you are really kicking as at Halo?

Anyway as I was saying I hope the movie doesn't suck and this French version of the trailer gives a little validity to my blind hope.

**Spoiler** This trailer actually focuses on the plot instead of Brad Pitt. Go figure right?

mg8askbdjy

Hey guess what? ....Yeah funny you know I can't help that. Smartass.

But seriously guess what? There is a Sherlock Holmes trailer out now. Guess what else? You can watch it below. Tried me of saying guess what now? You say you're going to punch me the face if I say it again? Ok then I'll shaddaup.

Holy shit here are 3 clips from Quentin Taratino's new movie Inglorious Basterds, which features Brad Pitt, Nazis and a misspelling of the word "bastards". I am still staying optimistic about this movie even though it received luke-warm reviews at Cannes and Pitt's accent is borderline ridiculous. I mean afterall it couldn't be worse than Kill Bill. Could it?

Does Marvel own Australia or something? It seems like everyone they cast for lead roles in their movies are Austalian.

I mean we have Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, Eric Bana was the Hulk, but that was recast with American Ed Norton. But hey Robert Downey Jr is...American. So is Tobey Mcguire and Wesley Snipes. Ben Affleck isn't even human, I think he's just a boring android. Damn come to think of it hardly anyone has been Australian.

Did I have a point?

Oh yeah! Thor has been cast.

Marvel Studios' Kevin Feige and director Kenneth Branagh have chosen their THOR -- and it's Chris Hemsworth, who can currently be seen as "George Kirk" in J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot and also just snagged the lead in Red Dawn for United Artists on Thursday.

Read the entire story

So there is a new movie coming out called "Hisss". Hahaha, there is an extra "S" in hiss, that must mean it's extra creepy. Anyway this ridiculous looking film was directed by Jennifer Lynch (daughter of David Lynch) and is about a snake goddess that can take human form. Some Bollywood chick is the star, which is fine by me because most Bollywood chicks are hot. Read more at rope of silicon

What can I say? I have standards dammit.

View the trailer below

Movie news has been pretty slow the last couple days but there is good news on the horizon. Blood: The Last Vampire anime has been made into a live action movie and a trailer is below!

You know I caught the anime...sorry manga, a couple years back on a Saturday night, at like 3 in the morning on STARZ or some shit like that. I thought it was really good. It was about a school girl who hunts vampires and demons, oh and (ready for the twist?) she's half vampire! Did I mention it was 3 in the morning when I was watching it? Yeah so in hind-sight maybe it's not that great, but then again I'm also a sucker for hot sword-carrying japanese school girls hacking up demons.

Call me old-fashioned.

The Expendables is going to rock. I don't care what anyone says. It's going to rock. If this picture from AICN doesn't prove it I don't know what will. You commie.

THANK YOU HOLLYWOOD! It has been announced that Keanu Reeves will be starring in a film adaptation of "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." Godammit! Why do they keep casting "Mr. Whoa" in movies that I wanna see? He fucked up most of the Matrix for me (Ergo the architect scene), ruined Constantine completely (Why didn't they cast Kiefer Sutherland?), and don't even get me started on The Devil's Advocate and The Day the Earth Stood Still.

But now I find out he is going to star in one my all-time favorite stories? Fuck me. Really think about it. Keanu Reeves will be playing an eccentric scientific genius who creates a potion using various form of arcane alchemy that transforms him into a violent, uninhibited brute with near super human abilities whenever he drinks it. Dr. Jekyll is only able to remember bits and pieces of the horrors and debaucheries he had committed in the form of the villainous brute that is later named Mr. Hyde. The good doctor finds himself fearing what he has become yet is drawn to the darkness of his evil alter ego. This story could arguably be the basis and inspiration of other great stories ranging from Werewolves to Fight Club.

Good thing they got a talented actor to deal with such a dramatic and complex role huh?

Terminator Salvation opens in two weeks. If you are still unsure if you want to see it then I suggest you watch the 4 minute clip below and let me know what you think. I have even put together a list of responses for your convenience below.

1. Holy shit! Hooooollly shit!
2. Did you see that shit? Oh my God!
3. .......damn.......
4. Dude....DUUUUDDDE
5. I didn 't like it...and I'm also an idiot queer

"Grrrr...Whadda ya think of my guns? Not those guns...THESE GUNS!...ARGGGHHHH"

See more flexing robots at Yahoo.

Thanks again Michael Bay. Thanks again.

USA Today has an article and pictures of the upcoming Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law and Rachel McAdams. I gotta say I don't really have anything smartass to say about the cast. I have always like Robert Downey Jr because he rocks, Jude Law is just badass in everything he does and Rachel McAdams can act her ass off.

In other news I'm kinda boring. *sigh*

Hitfix posted a story about some dude named Bradley Cooper (pictured above) playing Green Lantern, ironically in the Green Lantern movie. The article start off by asking the question "Who the hell is Bradley Cooper?", which I'm sure thrilled Bradley because he was mentioned by name.

***Pointless story begin***
I actually do recognize this dude from the Wedding Crashers (he played the douche bag boyfriend of Rachel McAdams). Plus I just saw Yes Man over the weekend (I was captured by terrorists and subjected to torture part of which was watching :Yes Man) and he was in that also. Yep he sure was.
***Pointless story end***

In case you couldn't figure it out from the title of this post, Fox is gearing up for a Deadpool movie starring Ryan Reynolds. Variety

Twentieth Century Fox has begun development on "Deadpool," an "X-Men" spinoff that will be crafted as a star vehicle for Ryan Reynolds, who played the character in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine."

Wow. Didn't see that one coming did you? I thought for sure they would give a deal to Will I Am before doing something like this? Wow totally outta left field. I have to say though, I can't really say anything negative about Reynolds** because he does play a great smart ass, not as good as Jason Lee but still good, and he was the only way I made it through Blade Trinity.

**It should be noted he did steal Scarlett Johansson from me. I know my fan mail was working it's magic before he stepped in and foiled my plans. I'll get you for that Reynolds. You just wait.

I don't even know where to begin on this one. Apparently Will Smth is teaming up with the Chinese (those damn Commies) to do a remake starring his son, Jaden Smith and Jackie "I'm a whore" Chan. Here is quick run down of how the rape will go down.

• Daniel-San is now called Dre
• Mr Myiagi is now called Mr Ha
• Danie...I mean Dre is a skateboarding video game buff
• Chinese bullies at his school apparently hate skate boards and video games

So basically they are taking the premise and updating it an upbeat funky vibe that is sure to appeal to audiences everywhere. Or as I like to say brutally ass-raping it with no lube.

Below is a picture of Jaden and his bitches.

It looks like Fox is already planning a sequel for Wolverine, which will focus on his samurai training. Yes you read that correctly. Variety

The Seed partners have begun planning the sequel, which they are squarely focusing on the samurai storyline originated in the comic series, and whose Japanese locale was teased after the film's final credits. A writer has yet to be hired. Seed will produce.

For those of you who don't know, in the comics Wolverine traveled to Japan and received Samurai training all while wearing an eye patch. You know because when you are an amnesic mutant Canadian super soldier, with adamantium claws you need to wear a disguise while training to be a samurai and what better disguise is there than an eye patch? It should also be noted that while in disguise he cleverly called himself Patch and also worked as a Private Investigator. Anyone else want to ask me why I don't like this character?

Hahaha don't get too excited this is just a fan film but it still beats a Uwe Boll movie right? Read the full story on this 40 minute fan film here.

You nerd.

A new poster for Inglorious Basterds is out and makes a claim that I have been saying ever since Pitt knocked up Angelina Jolie, that claim of course being he's a bastard. Angelina was mine dammit. Mine I tell you. Oh well at least I still have Scarlett Johansson.

According to Variety there is a live action verison of the popular Death Note being put into production. I really don't get this series. A friend of mine raved about this series and forced me to watch it. But he started me in the middle of the story and while I was trying to watch that he was explaining what had happened already, as well as what was happening and what would happen. Oddly I didn't understand a damn thing so I gave up on it.

Congratulations on making it through my stupid story. Stay tuned because next time I will tell you about this one time when I was really hungry. True story.

No thanks to me Wolverine Origins opened at 87 million, proving you don't really need a plot, character developement, continuity, or a story that even remotely remains true to the source material to be a success. If anything it may help. Don't believe me? Just ask Zack Snyder, the director of Watchmen.

USA today finally posted some news that I care about today by releasing the first picture from Iron Man 2. Sadly it's Scarlett Johansson free (she is playing the Black Widow you know) but still it's a look at the new movie. Pretty basic shot...yup. Suits are in the background. That's pretty cool right? Yeah...


Who wants a sandwich?

I know this isn't really movie news but I just had to mention it. This June the Sears Tower will feature a new attraction called "the ledge". Suntimes

…these new glass enclosures that extend 4.3 feet beyond the side of the building. Beneath peoples’ feet lies the sprawling Illinois city - 103 storeys, or 1,353 feet, below. Just an inch-and-a-half of glass separates the visitor from the street underneath. The attraction is due to open in June.

I don't even know what to say. I know that isn't really the be angle to take when trying to be a smartass blogger but damn...I mean dayum! Look at that shit! Is you crazy?

Yahoo has the new and possible final trailer for the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I have to say wow it looks great and the plot is air tight. My hat is off to you Mr. Bay.

From what I could gather an 18 year old dufus wants to leave Megan Fox and his personal Transformer, which transforms into a bright yellow sports car mind you, so he can live with another man and attend school. But then a piece of Transformer rock that dufus was carrying drops to the floor which leads him to see the world in some sort of fucked up Matrix kind of way, and while that is happening meteors start raining down to Earth hitting an aircraft carrier. This really pisses Optimus Prime off so he meets up with dufus at his school…

I wish I was making this up. Just watch it if you don’t believe me.

To me this was no big surprise but Access Hollywood made it official today announcing that Scarlett Johansson has the best celebrity breasts. This leads me to wonder if there is someone out there with better boobs who isn't a celebrity? Hmm. You know I just don't think there is but I will do my best to find out.

If my wife says it's ok.

Oh and by the way here is the top five on the beautiful, bodacious, bouncing boobie list.

1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Salma Hayek
3. Halle Berry
4. Jessica Simpson
5. Jennifer Love Hewitt

Ok ok. Quick question why is Salma Hayek number 2? Better yet why is she even on the list? Isn't she like 60 now or something? Plus it's hard for me to even notice her boobs since she has a mustache for eyebrows.

Hey did you hear about the Johan Hex movie? It's based off of comic book from DC comics about a... Ok fine it stars Megan Fox as a prostitute in a corset. Now can I continue telling you what the story is about? No? What do you mean no? It has Megan Fox in a corset so you don't need to know anything else? Fine. Whatever but if you want to read more later (I'm guessing after a 5 minute trip to the bathroom) you can read more here. Oh and there are more pics of her in a corset after the jump.

Remember just yesterday I was ranting about how Hollywood has no new ideas and keeps resorting to raping the ideas of the past in order to make a quick buck off of new short attention span generation of idiots? Yeah well just imagine how this news from Variety made me feel.

Universal Pictures will remake the 1983 David Cronenberg-directed thriller "Videodrome," with Ehren Kruger set to write the script and produce with partner Daniel Bobker.

To quote Paul Giamatti from Shoot 'em Up "Fuck me sideways"

It looks like Predator is being redone, revamped, reimagined, remade, rebooted or whatever the hell they call it. I call ridiculous. Apparently Robert Rodriguez is the mad man behind the remake and I like Rodriguez but this is Predator dammit!

[FANBOY_RANT]Predator had the usual cheeseball Arnie lines ("Stick around") but was just serious enough not to be campy. And yes I do think that a muscle bound team of covert operatives for hire trekking through a South American jungle with a hot Latino girl in tow while being tracked by a alien hunter wearing a wristband which enables the alien to become invisibile, plus has an atomic bomb built into it to be very serious and not campy at all.[/FANBOY_RANT]

Anyway this is what Rodriguez had to say.

Director Robert Rodriguez has taken on the 20th Century Fox PREDATOR franchise and creating a newly rebooted "PREDATORS."

We've heard the rumblings that this was coming via B-D, but now it's been confirmed. IESB has also confirmed it will be Rodriguez' own take on the original concept and he is in fact not only producing the reboot, he's also directing it.

Rodriguez talked to the audience of press members and revealed his upcoming film slate.

"I'm going to be able to shoot my upcoming Machete here, a sci-fi action film called Nervewrackers, a re-boot of the Predator series called Predators, and a couple of smaller movies called Sin City 2 and The Jetsons.

The Jetsons? Seriously did he just say "The Jetsons?" Not that I give a fuck about The Jetsons being ruined but I don't think any cares about The Jetsons anyway. Eh whatever, I'm too pissed about Predator, or should I say Predators? Doesn't anyone have any new ideas? Please stop 'going back' an remaking movies that are perfect. Please.

So below is the latest and last Wolverine trailer that will hit the internet. Just scroll below and you will find the last official trailer; bone claws and all.

This trailer leaves me asking just one question. Does Wolverine use hairspray or mouse? I know he blow dries. I betcha he usually mouse. You know to "save the planet". Damn hippie.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are set to return to the big screen in a live action movie slated for 2011. Variety:

The Mirage Group, which owns the property, is moving forward with a live-action film focusing on the origins of the iconic crime fighters. Project, targeted for release in 2011, would mark the fifth bigscreen outing for the sewer-dwelling heroes Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael as well as their master Splinter.

If you like me when you read "live action" you probably thought "great they are going to ass rape TMNT". But it may not be all that bad.

Legendary Pictures former chief marketing officer Scott Mednick is producing the new pic alongside Galen Walker, who produced the 2007 computer-animated "TMNT" pic, the most recent installment in the franchise. Peter Laird, Gary Richardson, Frederick Fierst, Eric Crown and Napoleon Smith III are exec producing the film, which is based on the characters created by Laird and Kevin Eastman.

News coincides with the Turtles' 25th anniversary celebration, which kicks off Thursday in New York as the first "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" film unspools at the Tribeca Film Festival.

Since the producer of the 2007 computer animated movie is involved I will reserve further judgement. I thought the 2007 movie captured the characters perfectly and just rocked plain and simple. So let's just hope a live action verison is in the same vain.

In a related story Ray Park is trying to make a turle costume during lunch hour.

Welcome to HollywoodJerk.com. In retrospect, I'm not crazy about the name but I also don't really care that much; so you can see my quandary. But would it really be a quandary considering I don't care? Or is it? Hmmm. Maybe I have a conundrum on my hands. Oh God! I hope it's not a conundrum! Problems I can deal with, quandaries I can manage, but a conundrum? Fuck me!

Ok, I'm just not going to think about now, because I have to finish this introduction post.

Ok. Deep Breaths. Whew!

Ok, so basically I will be focusing on movie news, trailers and reviews primarily about cool movies. No frikkin' crap with actors curling up their hands acting like they are retards, or the story of a lonely old women thinking about the past. Fuck that shit. This is about slasher films, comic book movies and just badass movies in general. You know stuff for a mature, sophisticated audience.

Hey you clicked the contact link so you must be looking for contact information and you wish is my command. Just as long as your wishes don't involve rope, crisco, carpet burn or Ben Affleck.


Jason McLellan's Contact information

http://www.headstatic.com/

info@headstatic.com

Bryan Fowler's Contact Information

http://www.bfowler.com/

bryanfolerart@yahoo.com

Hello all. I guess this is where I revel all my innermost thoughts and secret art techniques. Now, if only I had any interesting secrets or art techniques that make drawing and painting as easy as using an easy bake oven, which, come to think of it, isn't that easy. That damn bulb never got close to anything resembling heat.

To find out more about myself I visiting my website, www.bfowler.com. On my "about Bryan Fowler" page it basically says I went to school, live in a house, and love to draw and paint pictures of monsters, goblins, the human figure, and super heroes.

I love oil paint and like working digitally. Here are a few samples.